The Lost Codger

15 years ago, at a local golf club…
Dad: This is my son…
Dad’s friend: Wah, your son can be your bodyguard!
Me: Hello (smiling sheepishly).
A couple of hours ago, at a local golf club…
Dad: This is my son…
Dad’s friend: Wah, your son can be your bodyguard!
Me: Hello (smiling sheepishly).
(dalam hati: nasib baik anak kau cun) […]

“Kate mati..”, I nudged her arm with the palm of my hand.
For a brief moment, there was silence. I can’t exactly remember what she was telling him about, but all that rigorous hand-movement stopped as soon as I interrupted her.
She was speechless. She didn’t even look at me, but I could see her eyes moving […]

To make things worse, James further compared our friend’s facial features to that of an extinct salt-water reptile back in Terengganu, which I thought was extremely bad taste, although it did make me almost blow freshly-brewed teh tarik out from my nose. “I’m scared I’d become like that”, uttered James, who happens to be 6′3″ and weighs a measly 65kg, blessed with a bottomless pit for a stomach…. And you’ve been doing it for years with no adverse effects.” “I’m scared I might become like that when I get married.” “How so?” “Well, surely my wife will keep on feeding me until I’m full.” “Right.

Through the glass window, I could see a blurred image of a person in a blue shirt i.e. standard postman uniform. “Yup, that’s definitely the postman”, I reassured myself. I was scratching my chest as I opened the door, with both my eyes still squinting as they were still not adjusted to the morning sunlight. “Good morning, could I have your signature on line four and five please, “That didn’t sound right….

I was casually walking along Tottenham Court Road in Central London in search for some photography equipment, but after walking for almost 15 minutes on this long and popular Low-Yat-like road, I was surprised I couldn’t find a single camera shop. I turned my head towards the voice, only to be confronted by a very petite lady, of Oriental origin, with cherry-red lipstick and eye-makeup as thick as Yellow Pages, wearing black skin-tight spandex-like outfit, stiletto shoes as high as the Petronas Twin Towers, and a plunging neckline so low, it was very obvious she wasn’t wearing a bra. My jaw immediately dropped. Just what could she have meant by ‘these’? My eyes were still fixated on her neckline…. I must admit, girls with pretty smiles make me shy. I continued to walk faster and farther, to which then I took another look at the cards she handed me earlier. They were two VIP Entry Passes to Spearmint Rhino.